a dedication

I struggle with maintaining friendships with all the wonderful people in my life. It's not necessarily a time management thing, more like a struggle to preserve the space and time I need for myself. This is a challenge because I equally crave spontinaiety and the assurance that I will get to spend time with those I care most about. While I am guilty of having "favorites" who for better or worse recieve more or less of me at a time, I do believe that I can't always give the same amount to everyone. It doesn't work that way for me. I know people who dole out their time equally, sometimes in a roation. Dinner with this one, coffee with that one. While I can disapear from my friend's lives for a week at a time, I believe, maybe falsely, that they know how much I love them and that they are always with me. I don't ever turn off my affection or belief in them. Because I have made the decision to share my struggle with cancer with my friends, I have shared special moments with many of them over the month. Moments where I show them my vulnerabilty and give to them my worry. I am so blessed. Each one of them unique in their response, yet together a support system that will by itself will the cancer away.